The only thing I can compare it to is that flutter in mu belly that comes after finally receiving long awaited good news. Whenever I see your name appear on my phone, my body responds as if I've been waiting to hear from you for years. A rush echoes through me and anyone who has an eye on me will inevitably comment on the smile that sets my face ablaze after we hang up. They usually tease me but the good ones are happy and the rest are jealous.
I hear my housemates get told "no" time and time again by their supposed partners at the smallest requests. They tell me about their heatache while I put make up and pick out clothes quickly. They try and stay positive while I gt ready to be sweapt away for the 20th time that week while they wonder, "have a been wrong about what love looks like?"
I know the answer. We have all been wrong but I somehow got it right before running out of chances.
Next, I'm sitting outside while someone tries to figure out what she is going to do to fill her day and keep from going insane. My phone vibrates twice and the butterflies enjoy the message.
Only minutes away.
I try to listen but soon I am distracted by something otherworldly.
Half of you appears a few feet away. Your upper half is framed by the drivets side window and your crystal eyes are hidden behind dark glasses. You always see me first and I like it that way. You don't always smile and I like that too. You watch me walk your way sometimes and I notice when you don't. You watch to see my face in order to read my mind. It never takes longer than a minute for both of us to get a thorough read on the other one but we always ask anyway.
We're always better than we were a minute ago.
I slip into your car and sometimes we don't kiss right away. My eyes control me behind my own dark glasses and I look at you everywhere. My mind tells me to take it all in because you could be a dream.
So many years I've speant in your passenger seat with the butterflies at full speed. They'll never get tired and ill never stop looking.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

I just got off the phone with you when you told me about our dandelions being medicine for our exact ailments. Isn't it strange I handed you one in my dream? So scared I was to give it to you but you took it without question. Like...so many other things about us.
Today I'm racing the daylight to write this though its only 4 pm. Winter has hit here, almost like I brought it with me the night you dropped me off. I long for the nights when this house gets quiet, the only quiet it has to offer. A few wonderful, dark hours.
The trade off is the cold. Its those hours I have my longest talks with you. Your beautiful voice fills my head when I use earphones but my fingertips go numb, holding the phone close to my lips, speaking just above a whisper. Our hushed conversing, rich with longing, laughter, tears, pain, the deepest agony and deepest love I believe to have exsisted between two souls.
My determination to do this right, to see this bitterness to the end, is the only thing that keeps me from taking off, on foot, til I reach your door.
This, ALL of this, is for us.
Without this, there is no us, without us, there is no me. So I will see this til its finally and mercifully complete.
You just thanked me for your endless capacity to love.
To me, you are love. You are life. You are the beginning, middle, and end and everything in between. You say the sun rises and sets with me. You are the reason I am who I am so its because of us that the future exsists. The night I long for is a gift fron you and th next sunrise is our gift to the world.

Your love,
Kristine

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

I can't say I've always been honest
You can't say I've done a disservice

She's just a child
she's got a lot to learn

I'm helping out

Your deceit is under your wing
you wont let her go
you know its not appropriate

Into the fold
into the fold

for all that that hell
and porcelain
you swear its more than mere lust

Into the fold
into the fold

if she knew
what you do
the pristine routine
to fool the room

the gentle gentle
lotharia
you fain you change your ways
but we know
yeah
we know

can't you quell
this need for submissives?
Oh such lovely girls
2 ladies tender little lambs


Into the fold
into the fold


and you my pet
the sweetest yet
I'll hold you closest to my heart

Cut it out
Your self inflicted pain
is getting too routine
your crowds are catching on
to your self inflicted song

Now here we go again
the art of acting weak
hard enough to fail
to boost your cd sales

and that cd sells
yeah what a hit
you got to repeat it

you gotta sink to swim

at first you dont you don't succeed
you gotta recreate your misery

We all know art is hard
when you're art is who you are

try and fail and try again
theres comfort in repetition
Keep turning out those hits
til its all the same old shit

Oh the second verse
well color me fatigued

I'm hiding in the leaves
In the CD jacket sleeves

I'm tired of entertaining
some double dipped meaning
a soft serve analogy
this drunken, angry slur
in 31 flavors

Gotta sink gotta sink gotta sink
to swim
immerse yourself in rejection
Go ahead tell some sorry tale
about a boy who sells his love affairs

Gotta fake
with them
Better make
a scene
Better break
a leg
When you get on stage
and they SCREAM YOUR NAME


Gotta sink gotta sink to swim
Impersonate a greater person

Cuz we all know
Art is hard
when we don't know who we are

Where do you go when it gets dark?
And is there room for me there?
How long will it take you to wake up
Before you go will you wake me?

Or I'll sleep all day
and miss everything

Miracle sun
Stay with me tonight
I don't wanna be without you
I'll come along
so Save a place for us
I don't wanna be left alone

Where do you go when it gets dark
and is there room for me there
How long will it take you to wake up
Before you go
Will you wake me up
Or I'll sleep all day
and miss everything


Make a promise to wake me
will you wake me up

There is a boy who has been given thousand names by a thousand strangers and not one has labled him accurately.
I alone have called him a thousand names never uttered or even comprehend by the rest.
Friend, best, love, poet, hero, lover, damaged, sick, ethereal, enigma, everything, stranger.
Everyone who catches a glimps remembers his eyes but only how they appear.
His eyes strike those who look but his gaze once landed on me, penetrates trough my polished, practiced veneer into the dark inside where lies fear to tread. I'm unable to hide from that metaphysical invasion so he suddenly realizes, he's on to me.
And I never lie to those eyes again.

I didn't really want gum when I asked for some but I needed an excuse to talk to him. It also allowed for a perfectly timed flirty grin flashed his way when he shyly handed me a piece. He was beautiful and quiet and moved to slightly guarded on the set appeared to be fairly seasoned state so I couldn't allow myself the pleasure of thinking he was nervous because of me. As soon as we shook hands I started calculating how quickly I can get rid of his buddy on my right so I just so happened to be dating.
It was quite a predicament trading 1 friend for another and thankfully for refutation sake I had very little practice in that area. But it was painfully on fair how much mike had over his friend I had just started seeing and I curse the universe for not bringing him into my life first.
This is gorgeous sweet and so insanely cool( yet so ing deering seeing as how he almost seemed to paris by the sheer magnitude of its awesomeness) and I'm just supposed to sit back and settle for this doug you I barely liked to begin with? At that point in my mind however the friend in the way was barely on the radar. I had fallen in love before the gum was even soft.

There are those who pursue knowledge with the hunger normally reserved for the maddening and singularly focused pursuit of wealth . The desire to learn, discover, unearth and reveal is strong enough at times to serve as the absolute catalyst for change at every corner in life.
This desire has propelled me from 1 discovery to the next, onward and on, until im thrust ahead with an inertia in which all the choice is nonexistent.
My eyes are opened when I learn something new, the lessons growing painful as im witness to more of my world.
I never knew what I didn't have until I was told what I couldn't.
My time on earth has not been long. More years I could call joyful than not, though I've been on this side of things for sometime. The other years, long since taught to take note of what is lacking, denied, stolen and withdrawn from any part of my life today.

 I can do this if I have this 
but if I have this 
they won't have that 
and if they don't have that 
then I don't have anything.

Darling you are my punishment for my sins. Sit there in you new place with her new face 
    and think,
  Oh yeah...this is how that feels.

I could have had that
if I didn't have this
but if I didn't have this
than I would have had
something..else.

DARLING YOU ARE MY PUNISHMENT FOR ALL MY SINS.   I must have had amazing power over you to nearly ruin such a promising life. 

Your eyes were wild that first night but it was still
My fault my fault my fault that that shit went up YOUR nose.. My fault my fault my fault my fault but you loved me for it. You ADORED me for it. And you know it, darling.

She goes,
  Oh wow he looks really bad.
Are you guys ok?

You gave us away but it was
   My fault my fault my fault my fault that you had your harem of raven haired intellectuals outside the stall while we...reconnected.

I hate you. Thats a lie but I'm a liar and I hate you. I'm a liar and I don't miss you. I'm a liar and I don't regret what I did to you. I'm a liar and I think this is best.

Heaven surly sends its regrets
but you rest
content

I said,
   I have to do it again.

He said,
   I get to do it again.

I said,
  God I missed you.

He said,
  God I missed this.

I said,
 How can you?

He said,
How could you?